Rakastin aamuja joiden kirpeys havahdutti varomaan - 21. Elo 2011
Hetkinen on taas edellisestä nykäisystä tänne suuntaan kulunut, mutta let’s face it – ei minun elämässäni tapahdu mitään suurta ja ihmeellistä mistä kirjoitella. Olin viikon lomalla ja olen edelleen aika naatti, olisin tarvinnut vähintään vielä toisen viikon totaalirentoutumiseen. Mutta näillä mennään mitä on saatu ja jostain kai sitä energiaa on ammennettava, vaikkapa sitten putoilevista lehdistä ja siitä että voi taas juoda kuppikaupalla teetä ilman että tulee kuuma, käyttää villasukkia ja poltella kynttilöitä. Pimeään aikaan yleensä itken valon perään, mutta kyllä tämä syksy nyt taitaa olla ihan tervetullut. Kohta saa kaivaa maiharit naftaliinista ja kokomusta vaatetus ei tunnu epäsopivalta. Elämän pieniä iloja.
Noin muuten stressailen ja ahdistun ihan samoista asioista kuin ennenkin ja revin huumoria samoista asioista kuin ennenkin ja kaikki on – yllätys – aivan kuin ennenkin.
Ps. otsikon lainaus Harmaja - Kuinka Me Voimme. Rakkautta, kuunnelkaa.
Maa oli tuolla jossakin - 14. Kesä 2011
Sujuva kielenvaihdos tähän väliin ja todettakoon, että eipä tullut edes yllätyksenä. Ketutar.com on vihdoin kuopattu. Siinä mielessä että siellä ei ole enää mitään, en minä siitä luopua voi kuitenkaan. No vähän jotain on, mutta siis. Kuitenkin.
Työt ovat haukanneet aika ison palan aikaa ja energiaa, mutta jospa tässä pikkuhiljaa taas ryhdistäydyttäisiin. Sen kun näkisi. Kirjoittelua olen elvytellyt bloggailemalla osoitteessa, joka jääköön nyt mainitsematta ja sielläkin melko harvakseltaan. Punainen kirja on pikkuhiljaa saanut täytettä myös. Tällä hetkellä ei taida olla edes mitään suurempia raivoamisen aiheita, kummallisen tasainen olotila onpi nyt. Mutta nautitaan nyt tästä.
Ja joo niin, navigaatio ja otsikoita ja muuta shaibaa on edelleen englanniksi ja saa pysyäkin, ellen keksi jotain hienoa ja mullistavaa. Vieraskirja tulee ehkä joskus takaisin. Irkistä ja vaikka mistä tavoittaa jos tarvis on. Kyllä te tiedätte.
If it's already been done, undo it - 17. Jan 2011
I wanted to buy a little black notebook to carry with me and write random thoughts in. I didn’t find one. Just a simple black hardcover book with lined pages, a bookmark and elastic closure. Sounds a lot like Moleskine but any book meeting the criteria would do. And I didn’t find one. There’s actually one bookstore (one of the two we have in this town) I didn’t visit, since I refuse to go there because of overall poor customer service and being treated as a potential thief. So I went to the other bookstore and bought a little red book. It’s not exactly what I was looking for but close enough. Then I bought Neil Gaiman’s Anansi Boys. It only cost 5,90 € so it was practically impossible to leave it there.
Humhum. What else is new..oh well, I got a job! And I mean a real job this time, with salary and all. I’ll be continuing the work I’ve been doing recently but I’ll get paid too. Happy! Now that I know that money will soon find its way to me, I’ve been seriously planning on a second tattoo. I first thought my left arm would be the place but maybe it’s right leg after all. It’s easier to cover if necessary and I have the coolest idea ever for the leg. It actually has tons of meaning and I really want it, I just wasn’t sure when to get it. My first one is really just a pretty picture with no deeper meaning, and I plan to continue it someday – as I figure out what I want.
Umm yeah, it’s 2011 and I reached an age that looks scarily grown-up on paper. No worries, I still don’t feel any different. Still obsessing over Oliver. Just a bit less. But still.
Does it lessen your affection? No. - 29. Dec 2010
Nothing has caused major irritation lately. Even all the Christmas craziness bugged me just a tiny bit instead of driving me insane. I’ve felt strangely happy and at ease. I have managed to create some not-so-little obsessions though. Someone kindly linked The xx’s Basic Space –video and I didn’t really know what to think but just couldn’t get over it. So I listened to some more and got myself heavily hooked on it. So well, thank you.
I absolutely love Oliver’s voice, there’s something..well, something about it that I can’t quite put my finger on but that keeps me listening. Romy’s vocals I didn’t actually like that much first, since I tend to like a bit different female vocals than hers, but oh well she just crawled under my skin too. Needless to say, those two sound amazing together. Their songs are haunting and unique and require headphones, candles and maybe some fine wine. Also perfect for listening in bed.
It’s not unusual at all for me to get a bit obsessed with a band or an artist for a little while. It usually evens out sooner or later. We’ll just have to wait and see how long this one lasts.
Indescribable rage - 30. Nov 2010
My most recent cause of indescribable rage is the actions and decisions of so called expert, consultant doctors that work for insurance companies and for example The Social Insurance Institution of Finland. ”So called” because I seriously doubt their expertise. They make decisions that affect one’s whole life so I think it’s only reasonable to ask that they know what they’re actually doing. If one gets a medical diagnosis from a doctor that is an undeniable expert on his area of speciality, how can a consultant decide otherwise without even meeting the patient? Excuse me but I really don’t get it. I have seen so many cases like this that I’ve started to wonder if they use dice to decide whether or not to grant compensation. Sure, they want to pay as little as possible but to make decisions based on not facts but imaginary things that have nothing to do with reality whatsoever - that’s just straightforward bullshit. It’s almost funny that I have here both a diagnosis on an injury and the insurance company’s decision rejecting the compensation of medical expenses - based on some other medical condition that the diagnosis does not recognize and that does not exist. What the actual fuck?
Another case I know closely is somewhat similar. A person has a medical condition that causes severe pain in the back and inability to function properly and he has a diagnosis on that too. First he was considered unable to work, which is true. But suddenly they announced that ”no wait, you’re fully capable of working, there’s nothing wrong with you”. Based on the same diagnosis. Nothing changed. The doctor’s statement stayed the same and the pain and other symptoms stayed the same. I repeat myself - what the actual fuck?
It seems that rejecting decisions are made when it seems that the only solution is surgery. First they act all nice and pay what they should pay but when the word surgery appears, they start making up all these reasons not to pay anything at all anymore. A little too obvious, but bad for those who are too obedient or powerless to fight back. Too bad for the insurance company that we aren’t.
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