Getting out of the bedroom  

Getting out of the room was always difficult, but never as difficult as that morning. The walls, oh how she hated the walls. They were screaming at her for being such a coward and a pathetic little wimp. They had no idea how she felt so how could they do that to her? Such a mean thing to do to someone like her.

It took ages for her to even open her eyes to see the light that could be the morning sun entering her dark, private place. Then she had to struggle to gather the strength to even pull the blanket off her face. It felt exhausting. It had been a long time since she slept with someone because of this little problem of hers. It was too hard trying to explain it to someone who didn’t even want to get it. So she slept alone and woke up alone. At all times.

When the blanket was dealt with, she had to convince herself to get up. Just get up, it sounds so simple to everyone else but to her it was one of the hardest things she knew. So she struggled to sit up and then forced her feet on the cold floor. She was nearly crying at that point but she had to keep on going. She almost wanted to give up and stay in bed all day but that morning she knew she couldn’t. The harder it was to get up, the more crucial it was to fight back and leave the room. So now that it was the hardest morning she could remember in a long time, there was no choice.

When she finally got her feet on the floor it got a tiny bit easier. The bed started to lose its warmth so it didn’t lure her quite as much. She stood up and started to feel like a winner even though the walls kept on screaming at her. They didn’t sound so cruel anymore to be honest and she didn’t quite remember how cruel they could be. She took the first step towards the door. She knew she rushed it the second she lifted her foot and an overwhelming wave of negative energy washed over her. She was out of breath and wanted to crawl back to bed. She stood still for a moment that felt like forever and tried not to give up. And she didn’t.

It started to feel safe again so she opened her eyes and decided that was it. She took small, determined steps towards the door and screamed back at the walls in her head. When she finally reached the door she was drained. She grabbed the doorknob and opened the door – she had won.

Outside the room everything was normal. It was already a late afternoon but no screaming walls or luring beds or rushes of negative energies. She seemed like anyone else and no one ever noticed her making eggs and bacon at strange hours. No one knew what she went through every single morning.

Tietoa kirjoittajasta


Sähköpostiosoitettasi ei julkaista. Pakolliset kentät on merkitty *